Consent in the Workplace: Why Career Success Relies on an Enthusiastic Yes!

When consent in the workplace is portrayed or spoken about in the media, it’s often associated with physical touch. But consent is so much more than asking before placing your hand on someone’s shoulder.

As a manager, employee or CEO, consent should inform our day-to-day interactions at work. An enthusiastic yes is always the goal, but at work, there will always be things you don’t want to do but that you have to do to meet team and company goals.

Simply put, Career Success means experiencing financial health and work you enjoy, while feeling fulfilled in your peer community and life choices.

This can be broken down into 3 key elements: Satisfaction, Stability, and Support. Unsurprisingly, consent in the workplace relies on the same key principles. Is this satisfactory, does it contribute to my stability, and am I being supported?

We all have a responsibility to communicate boundaries and ask for consent when we are working in situations that provide an opportunity to violate those boundaries, even by mistake.

So, how can we come together to promote consensual workplace boundaries and practices?

When should you ask for consent in the workplace?

There are many places where consent should be asked for. If you really break it down, it could be in every work conversation you have.

Boundaries can be hard to articulate. Especially when it comes to identifying your needs as an employee. Asking for what you want is very vulnerable, whether it’s a promotion or needing more direction. Even asking for time off can be scary.

It can feel strange to consider these asks as a consent” ask at first, but by dictionary definition they are!

Compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another.

Merriam-Webster, 2022

As an employee, you’ll be asking for consent in the workplace constantly when navigating raises, time off, accommodations, and more. Even approvals on your work can be considered a request for consent.



As a manager, CEO, or in any leadership position, your requests for consent might be more nuanced. Asking an employee to work overtime hours, push through a personal or professional hurdle, or do anything outside of their job description — though hopefully avoided — can be considered an ask for consent.

Similarly, you can view someone’s job description and salary as a successful — and malleable — yes!

As an employee and employer, this contract is a yes” on both sides of the coin. This is why it’s so crucial to know your job description and have a clear understanding of your role in an organization.

As a manager, this is true of your job and those under you. It defines what you can and cannot assign someone. Anything outside of that description is a second ask for consent.

If either is unsure, it might be time for a 1-on-1!

The art of giving and receiving

When it comes to something as evolving as consent, it can feel quickly like you’re drowning. As a manager, it can feel like it’s YOUR responsibility to uphold. But consent is always about communicating and enforcing boundaries.

In her book, "The Art of Giving and Receiving: The Wheel of Consent", author Betty Martin starts by describing consent in the context of touch, but quickly broadens her idea of consent, saying, The Wheel of Consent affects your […] relationships, and that’s wonderful. But what I care most about is how profoundly it shows up in every aspect of our lives.”

The basis of her theory relies on a very broad understanding of giving and receiving. Many times, in our workplace, it feels like because we are being paid, that we are the receivers. But what if I told you that the opposite is true?

We live in a world in which many of us act as if some other person’s body or labor belong to us...

This is a common thread among many individual contributors or entry-level employees. They feel as if their time has been bought and therefore they owe their company consent. In some toxic work environments, management and upper-level staff will enforce this idea as well and expect a "yes," to every request. There is an overwhelming feeling that your labor is replaceable. Perhaps you feel that you need this job. Maybe you actually really do.

Whatever the case, it’s important to remember that no matter your job, your labor adds value to a company. You are not, in fact, replaceable. YOU are unique and your individual life experiences make you a unique asset.

More importantly, you deserve to have what YOU want in your career.

Giving an enthusiastic yes

It’s impossible to say yes” to anything at work when you don’t know if it aligns with your goals, values, or even just what you want out of life.

When it comes to working late, spearheading a new project, or accepting a promotion, you can’t weigh the pros and cons without some serious due diligence and self-reflection.

Ask yourself the following 3 questions to get started!

1. What’s my why?

The first way to set boundaries is to know why you’re setting those boundaries. At Uvaro we call this Finding Your Why. There are many ways to figure this out, starting with some self-reflection.

The question that Martin poses that gets right to the heart of it, is the following:

What am I hungry for that I don’t admit to, and what would happen if I asked for that?

Look at the current position you hold at your company. What more do you want? How would you ask for that? What steps would you take to get there?

2. Am I feeling fulfilled?

The second question you need to ask yourself is about your current job. Since you know what you want, now you have to take real-time to see if your job is serving you. Maybe it’s time for a career change, or maybe you’re burning out and need a break.

Be real with yourself. When you get a request to work overtime, does it feel like a chore? Do you feel excited to get up the next morning and get back to it most days?

Many people might have the notion that because you’re getting paid, that’s enough for a job to be the right one. But that’s simply not true. With the Great Resignation so recently in our history, we are in an employee’s market. You have your pick right now. There’s no reason for you to stay in a job that you hate.

In plainer words, do it because it feels good; the rest will follow naturally.”

Martin puts it so well in the above quote, and it echoes something my high school guidance counselor, of all people, once said to me. She told me to take the courses that inspired me and that those courses would lead me to a career that inspired me as well.

Similarly, if you set boundaries that lead you toward the work you want to do, you will find your calling and true fulfillment there. That can be at your current job or in another industry entirely.

3. Is this a learning opportunity?

It helps to have some compassion for yourself. I wonder what I will learn about myself here. I wonder what happens if…

When looking at an ask, make sure you consider how it will help you grow. You want to make an informed decision. Looking at a work-ask with a growth mindset can help validate or invalidate your yes.”

Let’s say you’ve been asked for your consent to work on Saturday to meet a big deadline. You have plans on Saturday, but upon reflection, you’ve never worked with this team before, and you know how valuable it would be for your career to be involved in pushing something like this through to the finish line.

In weighing the pros and cons, you realize that the opportunity for growth is well worth the overtime. Now your on the fence” yes, has become an enthusiastic one, simply because of your mindset.

Asking for consent in the workplace

There will be times when YOU are making the ask.

Situation: You find yourself in a management position, or as the lead on a project. Alternate situation: You are settling a dispute between co-workers.

There are SO many places where asking for consent can be beneficial. There will be moments when it’s awkward, vulnerable, or confusing.” says Martin. And that’s very, very true as well.

Asking from a power position

Something that Martin starts by saying, is that often people can get confused when they are asked for what they would like. While this is in the context of physical touch, it is equally as applicable to career goals.

A great many people, [when asked], instead of telling you what they want, will tell you what they wouldn’t mind terribly much.”

Many people, as entry-level employees, will struggle to identify their goals. More than that, they’ll struggle expressing those goals to someone in a position of authority like a manager or team lead.

This can make things difficult for you as a manager farther along when boundaries must be set. Make sure you stay in communication with your team. Sharing some of your own goals can make others feel comfortable sharing theirs as well.

If you lay some groundwork early on in the relationship, there will already be a shared language around goals and boundaries to fall back on. Any asks that breach that understanding can come from a place of empathy rather than confrontation.

Asking from a position of equal

The first thing we need to remember is that as the person asking for consent, you are being given the gift of yes, if yes is the answer. It is absolutely fair to feel vulnerable, especially when you are asking for something from someone who isn’t in your department or who you don’t know very well.

When asking for consent in the workplace, make sure you loop in your manager. Their job is to manage interdepartmental tasks. They can help guide you. They know the original contract between the company and the employee. If you need to tap into other employees’ skill sets, your manager is there to help you navigate the ask.

Asking from an employee position

Whether you’re asking for a raise, a role change, time off, or anything else, it’s important to remember that you and your manager are working together. Be open to hearing a no,” while still advocating for yourself and what you need.

When you know your why,” there is room for you to compromise. Remember: if you are unhappy in your current position, it is more than fair to ask for change. The answer may be no” right now, but it’s also fair to ask for clarification and for reconsideration down the road.

If something is non-negotiable, your manager will be clear. If this is a dealbreaker for you or a hurdle you are continually bumping up against, maybe it’s time to consider a career change.

Sacrificing your boundaries time and time again will build resentment, so it’s in everyone’s best interest that you’re clear with yours.

Knowing and setting your boundaries

Remember that no matter your position, it’s well within your rights to say no to any ask! Martin speaks to this in her book too:

I began to see that when we are worried about having to give too much, we become afraid to give anything at all. When we take full responsibility for our limits, we become relaxed and generous within those limits.

Knowing your boundaries allows room for compromise. While working after hours is a boundary for you, is there a situation where giving up an upcoming Saturday for an extra vacation day is comparable? Can you negotiate overtime pay? Is there some other way to meet this deadline?

Communication is key to finding a solid middle ground and making sure the company's needs are met, without sacrificing your values and needs.

Empower yourself with Uvaro

This is by no means an exhaustive article about consent in the workplace. There can — and have been — books on books talking about this exact thing. As we navigate boundaries and how to ask for consent in the workplace, it’s important to remember that communication is key.

Your boundaries are important, as are company boundaries. If your values aren’t aligning, this might not be a job that sets you up for success. But chances are there is a way to meet your needs while meeting company goals.

And who better to help you navigate this than a professional Career Coach? These folks can help you maintain boundaries at work, and find a way to make your needs work for you!

To see more of what Uvaro can offer, check out our Career Success Catalog.